11. Dear My Tokyo

I'm sorry I didnt have any time for a post before leaving Finland (my packing was so chaotic, you should have seen it XD literally started 3 hours before walking out of the door...).

Love my luggage bag~

So, what should i say now? Here i am, in Tokyo center with my host family, sitting on a heat-carpet (i adore these things, have to get one to Nekotalo too ;ww;) in our japanese-stylish room, where I will live for the next 2 weeks. The flight was so much better than i thought, the food was actually good and i had plenty of room as the next seat was empty~ I didnt even get bored tho there were no movies i wanted to see o,o just let my mind wander and it was really pleasant just to think about all that's going on in my life!! Some quality time with yourself~ I sure will have a lot of it from now on ;33

Yeah... I dont know how i feel about this all, being back after a while etc. Last year it was amazing. I felt nothing had changed and everything was the way it used to be and aaaaa. I remember being so glad to be here again, to be with all these ppl again.

Before i left now, everybody kept asking me why on earth i was leaving and what i would do here, just hang around for 3 months??! "Well, yeah.... i suppose.. D::", that was answer. I hadn't slightest idea myself. I still do not. In Finland i was terrified. What exactly would i do with all the time, all 'alone' in the world's biggest city?? On the airport i found myself thinking what a stupid decision it actually had been to leave after all.

Still i knew i had to do it. I dont know why, it had just been like that for ages. But the moment the plane took off i felt the freedom. I felt the time and i felt the adventure ahead of me, i felt all the heavy things falling to the ground and i left them there in Finland. Free from duties, free from feeling bad for anybody, free to go! 90 days of plan-less time, an own apartment and the city with innumerable possibilities (lets forget in here i only have a tourist visa and can therefore get no job :-----------------))))) ).

The own apartment -thing is what gives me the greatest pleasure. I've never lived by myself, but am a kind of person who needs his own pace and time. You dont have to listen to no-ones crap or give a fuck about anyone else's business. Of course it takes much more to keep the place clean, you have to cook etc, but still. And it's maybe a good thing to get some practise for your 'own life' this way: 2,5 months and that's it.

I have a feeling tho, that it wont take long until i'll move out in Finland too, especially if i get to study in Britain... I'll start to study for the future, my life will be different from now on. I dont feel as a child anymore. From last fall i've been doing daily work and i remember paying my own costs (well not food etc, but the clothes, the bus fares and such) for a looong time already. I feel like taking care of myself now, I feel it's the time for me to become an 'adult', whatever it then means.

Huuhh, now that i think of it, this all sound so very corny. For those who have been reading everything (or even parts of it), it might be good to remind i've been awake for about 30 hours by now, yepp. I sure will get some sleep after the dinner, asap...

But oh i must not forget to tell that tomorrow morning they'll start selling the GazettE's 10th year anniversary tickets *www* i will be there, no matter of the costs!!! Will be so much fun ;---;<3<3<3

So tomorrow that's the plan for the morning ;__D less stays unknown~

I'll keep you aware of my movements B))))

Oh, I still have to post a pic of the things Sara bought me when she came to see me off ;_______; wasnt expecting anything, so sweet ;-;<3 The necklace is for safe travelling~ i'm wearing it right now, and thinking about you babe ;)

A survival kit for a Finn! (i bought some more sisu and fazer chocolate on the airport too heha :D)